As long as I can remember, I bought into the idea — the fairytale, really — that I would get married and have children. I held out hope that I would meet the one. That I skipped the “starter” marriage. That the bad choices, bad luck, bad timing were all ladder rungs up to something greater. Until very, very recently.
Right now I’m watching one of my dearest friends go through a divorce, and it’s so ugly. It’s like watching sausage being made. Another friend has a prolonged heartbreak because his ex won’t let him near his kids. She called him a stalker after he left flowers for his 6-year-old daughter — because he wasn’t invited to the party. A third friend has the perfect spouse in every way — except they haven’t had sex in months.
At this point, it seems like marriage is only a good deal for the person who makes the least amount of money. And even sicker, is if I were to marry someone who paid alimony, MY MONEY would go toward that payment, as well.
A very pretty girl flirted with me the other night at a party. She asked for my number, but hasn’t called. I’m slightly disappointed. I’d like to hang out with her — but I don’t think we’ll get married. Even though we could, legally.
I guess I’m lucky. I had a short-lived marriage several decades ago and an amiable divorce from the person who remains one of my best friends. We divorced before it got ugly and were able to work out a transition to a friendship.
Even luckier, I met the love of my life at age 57, and we married two years ago — when I was 62 and he 69. Marriage, to us, is a deep, intimate bonding. (My book chronicles our love story, with many salacious details!)
I write this not to brag, but to perhaps offer a balance to the horror stories you’ve been hearing.
author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty (http://www.joanprice.com/BetterThanExpected.htm)
Join us — we’re talking about ageless sexuality at http://www.betterthanieverexpected.blogspot.com
Thanks, Joan. We need more stories like yours out there. Inspiring!