40licious Birthday: Surving Singlehood

Today’s entry comes from Nicole Flier, who lives in Florida and works as a business, PR and marketing consultant in Florida. She also has a dating column in a monthly magazine about her single life and the quest for Her Man. Today is Nicole’s birthday, so please welcome her to the 40licious community! If you have any advice that will help her on her 40licious journey, please enter it in the comments section.

1. How is being single at 40 different?

Happy birthday Nicole! Hope your wishes come true.

I never thought I would be single at 40. It is much more difficult to meet like-minded men as you hit 40. Most men between 35-40 are in no rush to get married and/or have kids. Those over 40, usually have a marriage under their belt and one or more kids. Being a successful and single woman at 40 with no kids and no baggage, is certainly not easy. We come off as a threat to some men as they can’t handle our success and our ability to be total independent. If we seek younger men, we look like cougars. Trying to find a man 40 and above, who actually wants more children if he has them already from a previous relationship, is like finding the cure for cancer. Good luck with that! Most men have done diaper duty with their first wife and/or girlfriend and have no real desire to start over even if it is with someone new. This makes it tough to date in my age range because I still really want to have a child within the next 5 years. The men I meet and date have made a pretty final decision, NO KIDS EVER or NO MORE KIDS which prompts me to move on, very quickly.

2. You’re looking for Mr. Right. How will you know if you’ve found him?
Relationships should evolve easily without drama or tons of work to make them actually happen. Finding Mr. Right is not an easy task, believe me, I am still wishing, hoping and actively looking. As we all get older, we become more independent and more set in our ways. I believe that if and when I finally find Mr. Right, the relationship will connect on all levels, fairly instantly. Chemistry is there from the start, both physically, emotionally and mentally. It just clicks from the onset, without really trying! We both will be on exactly the same page, at the same time. We will both be independent but stronger and better, together as partners. We will both have the ability and desire to give in to the other, just because it is the right thing to do sometimes, be less stubborn or always assume we are right. We treat the other as an equal, making it an “US” or “WE”, not a “ME” or “I”. We allow for the other’s idiosyncrasies without judgment and with patience and understanding. When it’s RIGHT, its RIGHT! Finding Mr. Right is finding the man who chooses to live his life with the same morals and ethics, and who want the same things out of life, ie: marriage and kids on the very same time line as me! If I can find these simples ideals and can see myself going to sleep and waking up next to him for the next 50 years, then I have finally stumbled upon “HIM”!

3. What’s the best way for a 40licious woman to meet someone?
We’re beyond the bars at this point. And some of us have families and demanding jobs. It’s 2011 and we have all partaken in the online dating craze. My experience with online dating has been less than positive and somewhat a waste of time. For me,the best way to meet someone of any depth or potential is via set up from a trusted friend, colleague or family member. I also like to attend networking, professional/industry related and charity events as I feel they draw a more professional and philanthropic type of crowd. These are the types of people I would rather be exposed to as opposed to trying to meet someone at a bar or club.

4. What else is important for people to know about being single and 40?
Although I have accomplished some great things in my life, the truth is, I feel like I have so much more to achieve. Aside from the obvious; marriage and kids, there is a whole wide world out there calling my name. I have quite a few more miles to go, and I am just getting started! So if you are reaching the end of your Dirty 30’s like me, just remember 40 is definitely the new 30. Life definitely begins at 4-0 and the possibilities are endless! Embrace it, live it, love it! Don’t get down; age is only a number. Life is a journey, so enjoy the ride!

Happy Birthday to me! Today I am 40 and F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S!

Vanessa McGrady40licious Birthday: Surving Singlehood

Comments 1

  1. Anonymous

    Thanks so much for the this FAB feature!! It has been a great day so far! 40 isn’t so bad!! 🙂

    Nicole Flier

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