40licious Style: Breast in Show, or, Don’t Rock Your Boobs at Work

Breasts: Something we can all get behind on Valentine’s Day

Happy Valentine’s Day. I’m very aware that we’re all in different places romantically – some of us are blissfully partnered, others are happily single, some in relationships about to implode, and still others are unsatisfied going it alone. So we’re not going to talk about love in the regular way.

The thing I would like us all to celebrate today — one of the few things we 40licious women have in common — is our breasts. If you’re not completely titillated with them already, I want you to fall in madly love with yours, be they perky, ginormous, re-created, enhanced, barely there or the source of an infant’s feeding frenzy. They are the first part of you that enters a room, so treat them accordingly. Dress them. Take them out for a walk. Admire them in the mirror and perhaps write a little poem for them. 

Author Elisabeth Dale

One of the breast, er, best experts on the subject is Elisabeth Dale, also known as “The Boob Lady.” She’s the author of “Boobs: a Guide to Your Girls.”

Although all women own their breasts, expert Dale says that really, there is only one entity that claims them in this country, which she calls the “Breast Industrial Complex”: The porn industry.

“The porn industry has an exclusive lock on showing nipples, so nobody in the general public gets to see them. So when people try to breast feed in public people freak out. All they are is part of a baby bottle when you’re nursing. To see people to reject nursing in 2011 is insane to me.”

Nursing is good for the baby, and also good for preventing breast cancer, she says. It’s Dale’s job to take the bewilderment out of breast ownership, and to stop feeling bad about them.

“Our boobs are like living targets, they’re constantly changing,” she says. “We often see the ‘ideal’ breast in the media, on a 20-25 year-old. Very few women look like that. Most of those women are photoshopped. Cleavage doesn’t exist in nature – it’s a bra pushing their breasts up to their chin.”

Whether it’s from gravity or pregnancy, your breasts will be different than they were at 25. Same as if you gain or lose as little as 5 pounds.

“There’s a great deal of wisdom behind the 40-year-old breast,” Dale says. “A 25-year-old might not appreciate her body. A 40-year-old woman is more comfortable in her skin, unless she has major body image issues. She understands that nobody’s perfect, only 1 percent of women have a model figure. “

To best dress your breasts, she says that a professional fitting is crucial – and NOT from the Victoria’s Secret, where the fitters are generally very young, but from Nordstrom or a small boutique with a variety of bras. The good news on the lingerie front is that there are more choices than ever for beautiful lingerie in any size.

“If you’re physically active, wear a really good sports bra,” she says. This will help prevent pain and tissue stretching. Those of us who rock a large B, C or bigger cup should get an “encapsulator” bra that separates the breasts. Our sleeker sisters in an A or small B cup can get away with the “compressor” bra (that sometimes results in the dreaded “uniboob” if it doesn’t fit right).

We know our breasts are beyond powerful. Presented properly, they can steal the show and cause immense distraction and distress. Not to mention the sexual pleasure they bring to everyone involved.

But Dale has a word of advice for bringing them to work: “If it’s not in your job description, don’t write it in.” Cleavage in the workplace doesn’t help your credibility unless you’re a waitress or in the entertainment industry.

“You wouldn’t wear shorts to a job interview, you wouldn’t wear tennis shoes with a suit,” she says. “What’s the message you’re trying to send?”

The next post with Elisabeth Dale will be about the breast health – how to get it and keep it.

Vanessa McGrady40licious Style: Breast in Show, or, Don’t Rock Your Boobs at Work

Comments 1

  1. 40licious

    Update: I just had dinner with Elisabeth and she took one look at me and told me I had a COMPLETELY different bra size than the one I’ve faithfully clung to since college. I’m shocked and saddened but not at all surprised. Baby’s gettin’ a bra fitting for her birthday!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *