This morning on NPR, wonky types lamented the fact that their most elusive target voting group, single women, were not coming out for local elections. We ladies are not joiners, they said. We’re supportive to the Democratic party, but not getting out to vote.
It’s really quite simple math. I have a full-time job and primary custody of my nearly 3-year-old. Which basically leaves me home most nights with John Hamm, and taking care of mission-critical errands on Saturday mornings when Grace is with her dad.
Dems, I’ll tell you where I am so you can meet me for the next local election:
1. Amazon.com, where I order all cleaning supplies, diapers, health and beauty aids, and also my streaming video, books and music purchases. Can you do a voting add-on to my cart?
2. The playground. Get some do-gooder polling officials to come around with an iPad on a Sunday afternoon. I’m bored as shit dumping sand from one bucket to another and acting like it’s some great archaeological feat. I’d welcome this kind of diversion.
3. Someplace they serve salad or Thai for lunch near work. (Not our cafeteria. I go in hungry, get a whiff, and leave with a sad little apple. On the flip side, I’ve lost 5 pounds since I started this job.)
4. At yoga. Be discreet and don’t get too pushy, though, we’re vulnerable after shavasana.
5. Trader Joe’s. Put those effing ballots next to the The Dark Chocolate Lover’s Chocolate Bar (85% cacao) and I’ll take six.
6. If I’m really feeling the luxury of time, perhaps at the nail place. I’d take a handy informational pamphlet over a June 2009 Lucky Magazine any day. But make it glossy and attractive with some infographics. Just put in a little effort beyond newsprint.
7. Facebook. If I’m doing something productive and civic, I’ll feel less guilty and time-wastey. Sheryl Sandberg, make yourself useful and please get on this.
8. My therapist’s. Actually, no. Scratch that. That’s my time. All mine.