I’m over the moon to announce the official Feb. 1 debut of my book, ROCK NEEDS RIVER: A MEMOIR ABOUT A VERY OPEN ADOPTION. It’s the tale of how I became Grace’s mom and our relationship with her birth parents, who became homeless and stayed with us for a while. Everything you could ever want to know is a page …


When Moms Get Mad

  I’m tired of mommy wars and don’t participate. However. Sometimes something gets you so hard in the gut that you need to punch your way out. Here’s my response to Phyllis Schafley’s equally conservative and hypocritical niece, who is trying to basically set women back 60 years, as she’s thumbing her nose at everyone who is not a very white, …

Vanessa McGradyWhen Moms Get Mad

We Do Not Fail

When I used to work in offices, I had this inspirational quote hung over my desk. It reads, “What would you do if you knew you could not fail?” I’d look at it every now and then and think about my parallel universes a lot: The one in which I lived on a farm in Vermont and made pottery. The …

Vanessa McGradyWe Do Not Fail

A Manifesto on Egg Freezing and Work-Life Balance

It’s hard to be mad at a benefit that promotes a reproductive choice for women, but the context is infuriating. Here’s my Jezebel manifesto, of sorts, of why it’s just not enough.

Vanessa McGradyA Manifesto on Egg Freezing and Work-Life Balance

Letter to my favorite grad

Dear A, The second you were introduced to me as our new intern, I knew I liked you. You’re cheerful and cheeky without being sticky or cloying. You’re capable and ‘fessed up immediately when there was a mistake, and we could fix it together. I like your long ombre hair and I want to know what mascara you use. Most of all, …

Vanessa McGradyLetter to my favorite grad

Don’t be too quick to ban ‘bossy’

Yesterday, Grace had been talking all morning about building sand castles, so we loaded up her various shovels, pails and tools and headed to the playground. When we got there, we left her equipment in a pile in the sand before we detoured to the swings. We got back about five minutes later, and some older girls — maybe 5 …

Vanessa McGradyDon’t be too quick to ban ‘bossy’

One little thing every day

Two things with Grace: This week she stopped asking me to carry her to school, which is one block away. She does this funny kind of skip-gallop-prance walk while holding my hand. It made me a little sad, but after all, I’m the one who hoists her up and says, “Someday you’re going to be too big and Mommy’s not …

Vanessa McGradyOne little thing every day