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Love and Entropy in Texas

American Gothic, sort of

I came here to visit my daughter’s birth parents and ask them about their history and their adoption experience. It’s been an intense journey. They have an angrysad hangover, four years later, about how they were treated by our agency. They became homeless a year or so after Grace was born, kicked around LA for a while (and also stayed with us) …

Vanessa McGradyLove and Entropy in Texas
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Dads, stop doing this. It's disgusting.

This post was recently syndicated in Ravishly. Have you visited this site yet? Pretty great. This cringe-inducing story about a dad who forced his daughter’s prom date to pose in humiliating pictures made its internet rounds this week, and today, I found this gem: The daughter who presented her pastor father with a certificate that her hymen was “intact.” Hey, kudos …

Vanessa McGradyDads, Stop Doing This. It’s Disgusting.
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Pen Is Mightier: Letters I Wrote This Week

1. To Grace’s karate teacher I’m Grace’s mom, and I wanted to let you know how much I enjoy watching her in your class and what a great job you do with the kids. It’s the perfect balance of silliness and discipline and I know she has a great time and she will carry those lessons forward. One thing I …

Vanessa McGradyPen Is Mightier: Letters I Wrote This Week
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Cupcakes, lemonade, paper and magic

Grace, my newly minted 4-year-old, is coming off a 36-hour high-rev cycle of excitement about her birthday, breaking into her own little “it’s my birthday, birthday, birthday” tune once every 20 minutes or so. A magician and his rabbit show up in the park for her. She is surrounded by grown ups and kids who adore her. At the end, 10 cupcakes, some smushed, some salvageable. …

Vanessa McGradyCupcakes, lemonade, paper and magic
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An Imperfect Daughter

I would hope my mother, who announces regularly these days that she’s not getting any younger, feels completely and absolutely adored by her family as she rides out her twilight years (she’ll outlive all of us, I am certain). That her dreams for me and my brother have surpassed any expectations. That even though none of it went as she’d planned, she feels …

Vanessa McGradyAn Imperfect Daughter
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Two kinds of fear

I don’t consider myself a generally fearful or anxious person, but I’m just going to list what lurks in the fear section of my brain, because the only way to reveal the monster in the closet is to turn on the light. THINGS I AM AFRAID OF, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER: 1. Grace not having me. 2. Me not having Grace. 3. Having …

Vanessa McGradyTwo kinds of fear

A Manifesto on Egg Freezing and Work-Life Balance

It’s hard to be mad at a benefit that promotes a reproductive choice for women, but the context is infuriating. Here’s my Jezebel manifesto, of sorts, of why it’s just not enough.

Vanessa McGradyA Manifesto on Egg Freezing and Work-Life Balance