Sweetness at the intersection of want & need

Christmas has been difficult for me since my dad died in December, 2003, and it hasn’t helped that soon after, I moved to Southern California where I have exactly zero family. So a few years ago I finally stopped wallowing in my aloneness and started inviting people over for Christmas Eve as a way to make a new holiday with …

Vanessa McGradySweetness at the intersection of want & need
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To The Left, To The Left: Why I Swiped You Out of My Life

Never in my life have I consumed an alcoholic concoction to get rid of a hangover; this to me sounds like an express pass to a deeper circle of hell. But after a recent ridiculous, disproportionate heartbreak, complete with Beyoncé on repeat, I decided to go for a little “hair of the dog” and go back online to date. OK, …

Vanessa McGradyTo The Left, To The Left: Why I Swiped You Out of My Life
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Why i will never tell my daughter to give you a hug

I did this piece for Jezebel that came out today. I hope friends and family understand that Grace is a really affectionate and loving kid, but it’s on her terms, OK? OK.

Vanessa McGradyWhy i will never tell my daughter to give you a hug
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In Praise of the 55-Year-Old Man

I want to respond to Tom Junod‘s piece that essentially declares 42-year-old women acceptable — and possibly even desirable — for goodsexyfuntime. After all, Tom essentially says, this is not your father’s 42-year-old! Were I to craft such a piece, I would praise, for sake of a number and because Junod was born in 1958, a 55-year-old man. I would talk about …

Vanessa McGradyIn Praise of the 55-Year-Old Man
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Letter to my favorite grad

Dear A, The second you were introduced to me as our new intern, I knew I liked you. You’re cheerful and cheeky without being sticky or cloying. You’re capable and ‘fessed up immediately when there was a mistake, and we could fix it together. I like your long ombre hair and I want to know what mascara you use. Most of all, …

Vanessa McGradyLetter to my favorite grad

Some things about Christmas 2013

This is Grace's portrait of Bridgett and Bill. Which is so crazy perfect, if you know them.

1. My dad died 10 years ago today. You don’t really recover from something like that. I was really sad for the past couple weeks and felt all “dumpy mom,” and couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but duh. Of course. Then, some magic. My older brother, Ilya, in ISRAEL, made a concert of this beautiful, ethereal music with …

Vanessa McGradySome things about Christmas 2013

How to Announce a Divorce

I know how to announce a wedding and engagement or new baby on Facebook. You go and add adorable pictures and toggle some status settings and wait for the OMGs and congrats! to flood in. I do not know how to announce a divorce. I’m not good at this part, it seems. Does one “announce” a divorce? I’m the one …

Vanessa McGradyHow to Announce a Divorce